Paperback ´ Vlad MOBI í

Vlad Hay un vampiro en la ciudad de M xico Necesita tu sangre Quiere tu vida Desea a las personas que amas Y no te quitar s lo eso This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here Ok, this is going to be brutal So fair warning I hated this shit If I could give this book zero stars I would have So let s get this over with.1 This book is supposed to be a version of Dracula taking place in Mexico I was super intrigued I mean I read that dumb ass book where it was teeny boppers with cell phones retelling Dracula How much worse could it get 2 So much friggin worse This novella was 112 pages long ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE The story didn t even start until I was half Ok, this is going to be brutal So fair warning I hated this shit If I could give this book zero stars I would have So let s get this over with.1 This book is supposed to be a version of Dracula taking place in Mexico I was super intrigued I mean I read that dumb ass book where it was teeny boppers with cell phones retelling Dracula How much worse could it get 2 So much friggin worse This novella was 112 pages long ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE The story didn t even start until I was half way through the damn book.3 I had to spend at least five pages on hearing about the MC and his sex life with his wife, including a rather nasty description of her vagina and their combined public hair YUCK4 I had to spend another two pages hearing the MC drabble on and on about how once you are married and having sex with a woman you can no longer ask her if the sex was good because eventually she will get tired of hearing about it Blah blah blah blah how do you know if the sex was as good for her as it was for you DRIVEL5 Dracula was just well nasty every description of him was unpleasant and nothing like he is really supposed to look I know this was supposed to be horror but nothing in this novel scared me, it just grossed me out Apparently his ears are shaped like bat wings and he cuts them off every day.And wear fake hair.6 The ending was seriously rushed Everything wrapped up in the last maybe five or ten pages and made no sense 7 The author called bats BLIND RATS for this statement alone I dropped the rating They are not blind and they are not anything like rats Do some fucking research you ass hole.8 Uh Good point The writing style was good The author is a fairly good writer, the characters, storyline and conflict all sucked.9 I couldn t connect with ANY of the characters AT.ALL They didn t inspire love, hate, sympathy Nothing Half the time I was just like, Is this fucking over yet 10 And here is the big kicker and the huge SPOILER ALERT There is a scene where the MC s daughter is playing in the back yard with a child vampire and they lift up their dresses and put live squirrels down the front of their panties WTF I couldn t even figure out how this was relevant to the story Then the man servant comes out and starts sucking the nipples of the child vampire and the MC stands there sickened but doing NOTHING My mind can barely wrap around the images this book gave me They were disturbing and completed thrown in for an ick surprise factor and nothing else Do not read this book In fact boycott its very existence I will be putting this piece of trash up for sale onasap And it s a Dracula novel I usually keep them, even when they are bad But this one no way To think of it, it s THE perfect novel to read on a rainy, rainy afternoon while sipping ultrahot but strong cappuccino at a posh Sanborn s in Mexico DF Rating 3.75 of fiveThe Publisher Says Where, Carlos Fuentes asks, is a modern day vampire to roost Why not Mexico City, populated by ten million blood sausages that is, people , and a police force who won t mind a few disappearances Vlad is Vlad the Impaler, of course, whose mythic cruelty was an inspiration for Bram Stoker s Dracula In this sly sequel, Vlad really is undead dispossessed after centuries of mayhem by Eastern European wars and rampant blood shortages More than a postmod Rating 3.75 of fiveThe Publisher Says Where, Carlos Fuentes asks, is a modern day vampire to roost Why not Mexico City, populated by ten million blood sausages that is, people , and a police force who won t mind a few disappearances Vlad is Vlad the Impaler, of course, whose mythic cruelty was an inspiration for Bram Stoker s Dracula In this sly sequel, Vlad really is undead dispossessed after centuries of mayhem by Eastern European wars and rampant blood shortages More than a postmodern riff on the vampire craze, Vlad is also an anatomy of the Mexican bourgeoisie, as well as our culture s ways of dealing with death For as in Dracula Vlad has need of both a lawyer and a real estate agent in order to establish his new kingdom, and Yves Navarro and his wife Asunci n fit the bill nicely Having recently lost a son, might they not welcome the chance to see their remaining child live forever More importantly, are the pleasures of middle class life enough to keep one from joining the legions of the damned My Review Well now This is a later work by Mexican national treasure Fuentes, published in serial form in Spanish in 2004, as a book in 2010, and in English in 2012, the year of Fuentes death Here in abundance is the glorious, sensuous language of Fuentes fearless imagination At night in our marital bed, Asunci n is like the salamander of myth cold that shall burn, burning that shall freeze fleeting like mercury and stable as a precious pearl devoted, mysterious, surprising, flirtatious imagined and imaginativeNo talk, all action.This is a man discussing his wife, with whom he has made two children Most men would barely be able to summon up that woman s hair color Not Fuentes husband, no indeed, he catalogs his wife s wicked sexy ways Which, being wise to the source material of the book, lets the non comatose reader in on the fact that all will soon fall to poo poo in a big bad way Lawyer Navarro meets his senior partner s old schoolmate Count Vladimir Radu as soon as Asunci n, in her role as real estate agent, delivers the required house the scene of the meeting, a spacious and monochromatic modern villa in a fancy mountainside neighborhood, iscreepy and eerie than it would have been if Fuentes had gone the expected route and made Vlad all my friends call me Vlad says the Count, in a bone chilling moment of ersatz bonhomie a slave to Old World notions of proper decor and architecture Something about ancient evil in a Bauhaus y minimalist setting, well, it made my neck hairs rise.There sits relentlessly alive and ponderously restrained Yves Navarro perhaps named so in honor of French writer Yves Navarre a sensualist, like Fuentes and like Navarro, only gay , noticing the physicality of the repulsively ugly Count, taking inventory of his flaws and repulsed yet seduced by his demeanor His hands were eloquent He moved them with disagreeable elegance, he closed them with sudden strength, and he didn t attempt to conceal the strange abnormality of his long glassy nails,as transparent as his windows before he d had his house sealed.I hesitate to use this phrase, but Count Vlad comes to life in this description It s economical and still replete with imagery that functions as subtext Ethan Bumas, the lead translator, did good if mixed,on that anon work capturing the dandyish archness of Fuentes prose without spilling over into parody.Yves is only at the tip of the stake, as we who have read Dracula know, he is on course to losing everything to the immortal evil Count His beloved Asunci n, she of the freezing salamanderly sexytimes, has fallen asleep after conjugal congress Yves, in a moment that makes me want to smack him upside the head, is having straight guy angst about whether Asunci n has, errrmmm, achieved her desired completion He frets about this for a good long while, uninterestingly enough STRAIGHT GUYS IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THE ANSWER IS NO, GET USED TO IT OR GET OVER IT , before slipping into a dreamlike state in which Vlad is under the marriage bed Yves touches the glass nailed corpse hand as he reaches for his slippers He is, understandably enough, flipped out he convinces himself to go back to sleep, though Next morning In my dream someone had been in my bedroom but then that someone walked out of it From then on, the bedroom was no longer mine it became a strange room because someone had walked out.Thatthat right there, that short passage of simple sentences using simple words, that explains the heart of the horror of vampire novels Vampires steal your life They don t cause your death, unless you re lucky They steal life and I do not know ahorrifying terrifying knee knocking pants pissing concept than that The Weeping Angels of Doctor Who fame have the same effect on me that this retelling of vampire lore does.So, of course, by the end of this short novella, Yves is utterly and abjectly alone, despite being granted his heart s secret desire He is dead His life was stolen in that awful moment above he valiantly pretended not to notice, not to know, to deny he fails, of course, and his failure leads him to a simple act now, in his new undeath, fraught with misery, horror, hellish cruel simulated joy He gets in his car.Now why, with the positive statements I m making about the effect of the book, did I rate it under 4 stars Because of two things that annoy me, and one thing that I have no evidence to support but find plausible and therefore ohfagawdsake worthy Annoyance the oneth Translate Spanish or don t Mixing the two is Bad For example, Vlad s house which seems to be a famous one designed by architect Ricardo Legorreta, about whichanon is first described as being in Lomas Heights wince which translates to Hills Heights Nuh uh Lomas Altas is a specific house in the Lomas de Chapultepec neighborhood in Mexico City High Hills or Steep Hills would work as a translation of that, but why bother And later in the book, the house is described as being in Bosques de las Lomas, which name is not translated means Woods of the Hills Translate or don t Don t shilly shally Thing the twoth Yves ponderously repeats his wife s name, his daughter s name, his employer s name, and all in 122 pages If the book was 722 pages and chapters went by without these characters being mentioned, a little refresher wouldn t come amiss In this space, it s an annoying rubber headed hammer whacking my kneecap every fifth page STOP In the sameis actually less vein, there is a longish and unnecessary recap of Vlad the Impaler s life and career It served no purpose and is all stuff most readers likely to pick up a Fuentes book will either know or not want to fuss with No padding needed, folks, when the story s already good As to the plausible but unproven detail, I return to that famous midcentury house, Casa Loma Alta Fuentes was a highly cultured man, and likely knew Legorreta the architect and so would probably have known his work The house was, I am fairly sure, owned most recently by a Chinese born drug dealer whose 2007 arrest produced over 200MM in cash and an arsenal in some tunnels dug under the house This set up is ready made for Fuentes, that inveterate myth maker, to appropriate for his relocated vampire and it provides that little roman clef touch that haunted me as I read the book Drugs and drug barons stealing the lives and wealth of the bourgeois Mexicans, with neither party paying even the slightest mind to the millions of average Mexicans ground under their fancy car wheels and or fangs Listen, if it rang that bell in me, an American, how loudly must the whole carillon have rung for Fuentes Mexican audience That being said, there s the awkward sense in this book of is it or isn t it a roman clef, never addressed and never refuted It gave my reading a jarring neither nor quality.I d still say it s worth a read, since it s short but don t pay full price This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution NonCommercial ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License Ashamed to say that this is my first time reading a novel by Mexico s most celebrated author I ve read some of his essays Vlad is imbued with humor and horror, a commentary on contemporary life I was taken with the sensuality of Fuentes writing and can imagine it would be even better read in Spanish.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top